Give me a V.      (Energy centers 3rd and 5th Chakra)

 

February 26, 2019

Give me a V for… Vulnerability. When I first typed the word V. You can guess what I thought you may think I was going to talk about, a specific region of the female anatomy. No, not even close. Although vulnerability has been socialized to relate to a noun best saved for the feminine part of our cultures and behaviors, we ALL have vulnerabilities.

 

 

The dictionary describes it as capable or susceptible of being hurt; it translates as weak. Another definition clarifies vulnerability as being open to assault and difficult to defend.

 

 

NO WONDER men shy away from seeming vulnerable or why when a woman is in vulnerable state a men derive the label of drama queen or turn a blind eye simply due to the discomfort that a vulnerable moment may cause. Not that I condone this, but it has forced me to see where the disconnect in our communication lies. Vulnerability has received a bad rap, it translates to weakness, an open wound, a bear trap.

 

 

To me vulnerability translates as intimacy. It’s a good thing, a realllly good thing.

Vulnerability is our hidden strong suit, it’s our ace, our check mate our Lego that fits the other…its connective tissue vital to our survival.

 

 

We for the most part operate from our ego. The ego does not want to appear weak. So, we are all walking around trying to be A-Ok, all good, everything is fine. Yes, there is a lot to be said for being positive but there is more to be said about being honest, real, flawed and authentic.

 

If we become fearless in our ability to be vulnerable the “weakness” evaporates into strength. By allowing yourself to express your truth without fear of judgment it allows another to join you in that space. This is intimacy. This is where true connection, and relationship thrives.

 

Relationship. If we look and listen to that word, you see and hear 2 things: Real and Relay. Be Real. Rely Realness.

 

As Human Beings we want material things, money, comfort, safety, fulfillment. Ultimately, what we truly want is love, acceptance and to be heard and understood.  How can we have those things without being vulnerable?

The fastest way to closeness with another is sharing in our vulnerability. It softens the edges between us.

I have these incredible alpha males as clients who date women that most likely have no clue of the depth of their emotions, the openness to healing, their tenderness, their sensitivities, because they are socialized to believe that behavior is shameful, it is reserved for the therapy room or a buddy they grew up with or maybe they are lucky enough to have a brother…or a healer like myself.

What’s fascinating about that is that a woman would see these qualities and most likely melt with adoration, but we perpetuate an ideal behavioral standard, that is not authentic and simply veils the truth. This keeps us separate, when we are alike. At our core we are so similar.

As women we have become literally terrified of seeming needy, dependent, in need of affection or in need of anything because we’ve been fighting so long for our strength as a gender and for our equal place.

Let’s face it, we all long for attention, sweetness, romance, to be listened to, but we stopped knowing how to ask for it with dignity. So, we close up, shut down, we get bitter, we resent, we hold back, we expect each other and everyone to be mind- readers because God forbid, we are vulnerable, aka weak…is this the way to intimacy? To ReLAY – tion – ship?

 

I propose a challenge. To be more authentic, to be more vulnerable. Our tone, how we express our vulnerabilities is vital. We need not complain, nag or yell, we can express our pain, fear, disappointment and needs in such a way that comes from a place of centered power and strength, its key. It’s all in delivery and TONE.

Knowing you want more, need more, aspire for more is healthy and expressing it with kindness and optimism is self- love. Half the time our lovers, partners, friends, co- workers, neighbors have no idea what we need or who we REALLY are. We start resenting people for not just knowing. We must begin telling them exactly who we are, from a relaxed place of power and centeredness, being authentically vulnerable is admirable, it unites us.

 

It’s the pivotal scene in movies like Mean Girls or Can’t Buy Me Love that inevitably takes place in the school cafeteria when someone stands on a table and declares that we are all really the same: Geeks, Cheerleaders, Nerds, Goths, Jocks etc.- we all just want to be heard, accepted and liked/ loved.

 

 

All the fighting is for nothing…literally nothing. Everyone unites when one person takes a stand to be VUNERABLE. Being vulnerable is simply saying:  I know I am not you, but I accept who you are -can you accept me? I know you have flaws and fears too. We all do. Be the first to say it and see what happens. Just watch your tone, be in kindness and truth and humility.

 

In Energy work this healing work would be at the 5th Chakra Healing the throat.  A healed and unblocked 5th chakra is your ability to self express without apology, to speak up fearlessly, to have your voice and be heard. The color is blue.

And the 3rd Chakra Solar Plexus where your Empowerment thrives.  A healed and unblocked 3rd chakra aids your ability to self-express and your power to do so. The color is yellow.

 

There is tremendous strength in our vulnerability, and volumes of love. Own yours and step into it with wild abandon. I dare you.

 

“We have to dare to be ourselves”- May Sarton

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken” - Oscar Wilde

“I had no idea being my authentic self could make me as rich as I am, if I had I would’ve done it a lot earlier”- Oprah Winfrey

“When you show up authentic you create the space for others to do the same. Walk in truth”

– Anonymous